Textbook Error

“We need to save them for if we really need them!” He says. I say there are lots of people in my village who would understand if they knew I had taken two pills to help a hangover. If we really need extra someone will drop more off I say. “That’s not the point! You’re being ridiculous and dramatic!” my Husband persists.

I look at him directly in the eye and swallow two Anadin. Slowly.

I look at the clock and see it is 7:15 new time. That means it’s actually 6:15 old time. I’ve lost an hour. I feel absolutely shocking and I cannot believe that a time change can have such a significant effect on my body clock that I no longer want to get out of bed. No, I am not poorly. Well, maybe a bit, but I am very sorry to say it’s self inflicted. I have let you all down, I know.

Something strange is happening, a new movement, if you will. You can now stay in your pyjamas and not leave the house, but call your friends and see them and talk to them. This sounds dreamy I think, no need to venture out! Just pour a glass of wine, unnecessary to put my face of makeup on or get dressed. Just let it all hang out and hang out with my pals.

I was lulled in to a false sense of security. Saturday night rolls by and I have no less than three Skype meetings, a significant amount of wine and no dinner. Textbook error on my part, dear reader. It effectively means I have embarrassed myself in front of twelve people without even leaving my house.

I thank the unjudgy parental Gods on high that we succumbed to the relentless advertising and bought the subscription for unlimited Disney films. On goes the kettle and Aladdin. My husband offers to make me breakfast and I agree to this but ask him not to take too long. “You can do it yourself if you like?” I cuddle him. I backtrack. I love you, I say. I need you! Do you think I might get chance to go back to bed? No chance he says, man up. It’s Sunday, we’ve got a great day ahead of us, piece of beef to cook, you’re being ridiculous.

He brings me a crumpet with a fried egg and bacon. I take a bite. It tastes like nothing on this earth, a divine gift from those very same unjudging gods. So, so good.

I look at him sincerely, almost on the verge of tears “Oh my god, it is so good. Thank you.” I say. He laughs “You’re not being dramatic again are you?”

I look at the telly. I empathise with Jasmine.

“I won't be silenced You can't keep me quiet... All I know is I won't go speechless” - Princess Jasmine